ED's - not so dirty anymore.

It is National Eating Disorder Awareness Week, but I don't really want to talk about eating disorders... I don't really want to relive almost an entire year of my life that I spent destroying my body and disrespecting myself.

Instead I really want to talk about how beautiful life can be, I want to talk about how you can reclaim who you are even when you think you've hit your lowest low, I want to talk about the ability to find happiness is some of the most simple things. 

I want to talk about how waking up is an absolute gift, how I can open my eyes and know that there is no struggle that is too big for me to overcome. I have the strength to overcome so much more then I could ever imagine. 

I want to talk about how I have figured out that laughing is the best medicine. Well, laughing and coffee dates, movie nights, best friends, lovers, cats, rainy days, morning fog and so many more things I can't explain. 

Sadly, it is hard for me to talk about how amazing life is without remembering... Even just a little bit how I managed to take it all for granted. 

Luckily I have a choice, I have a choice to look back at what I have done and feel shame, or I can look back and feel empowered. I am choosing to feel empowered today, I am choosing to take the opportunity to share my story and not shed any negative light on it at all but instead show others how the power within yourself can move mountains.

By choosing to be strong, and live my life in a way that does not allow a disease to take over I have been given the opportunity to speak and inspire and strengthen others. So here it goes..

I spent a year of my life disrespecting my body, treating it like it didn't matter and trying to change something that was already perfect! I realize I was not the "poster girl" for an eating disorder (but from what I have learned, there really isn't/shouldn't be a type), a lot of people did not believe that I was sick and they made assumptions that I was fine. If you are not sickly thin, people tend to believe there is nothing wrong... and I was in the same mindset for a really long time!

It took months and months for me to realize, and for me to listen to those close to me that I needed to stop doing what I was doing. I needed to focus on nourishing and celebrating my body. I heard from countless people that what I was doing was harming not only my physical being, but also my relationship and my emotional state - along with everything else in my life! I lived in denial, and that denial caused me to lose more weight in a short period of time than was healthy and while I was thrilled with my new body I was "creating" I still couldn't really look at myself.

I don't want to live in the past anymore... so let's just say I conquered it! I don't know when that moment happened, and I don't know what it was that made me realize how harmful I was being to myself but it doesn't really matter anymore!

Moral of the story is:
ED's are complicated, debilitating, destroying, harmful, confusing and downright sucky - but only if you let them! If you or someone you know is struggling with them make sure you remain patient and supportive. It is a force within them (aided by loved ones) that will allow them to move forward and celebrate life again. Seek help, and don't ever give up!

Eating Disorders are not a dirty subject. The dirty subject is the perception that we have of people battling this disease. I lost a lot in my life - because I let it. I realize this now, but I also realize the things I lost may have not been worth it, because I gained a whole hell of a lot more - and I continue to gain everyday of my life. I celebrate myself (most days) instead of focusing on the negative, I look at myself in the mirror... I mean really LOOK. I surround myself with beautiful people, beautiful things, beautiful ideas and pretty good sense of contentment. I don't look for happiness in the things I have or want, but I find happiness in the blessings that I have.

I think I might stop here... before the tears begin!

Be Well!

100 Things Women should know, especially if they don't already!

I saw a blog post the other day titled "101 Things I will Teach My Daughter" (or something to that same effect), and I got a little bit of a chuckle while I read through it. Then I thought to myself that I truly believe that there is a pretty hefty list of things that I believe women (and men too, I suppose) should know, or at least have someone mention.

SO! I have compiled a list of some of the things that I feel are the most important to know for day to day life. Obviously some of them are pretty trivial but on a day like a "Bourbon Monday" (which is what we call a normal Monday in our home), you kind of have to live for the little things because they keep you sane.

1. Give PMS anything it wants. At the end of the day your uterus is in complete control of your mind, at least for 3-5 days out of 30.

2. Sometimes your socks match, sometimes they don't match and they are not clean. Accept it.

3. Drink all the water.

4. Carbs are not the enemy in your life, but make sure they are the good carbs... fruit/veggies.

5. If you do eat a bowl full of carbs for dinner, that is cool.

6. Find physical activities that are fun and that you can do with your friends. It makes it better.

7. Don't pay a ton of money on beauty products, they are the least important thing in your routine.

8. With that ^^ being said, do what you want with your face/hair/everything. Make sure it is what makes YOU comfortable. (Turns out I REALLY REALLY like heavy eye make up and huge lashes.)

9. Red lipstick. Everyone has a shade. Wear the crap out of it.

10. Laugh out loud, a lot. You will be surprised how good it makes you feel.

11. Write "to-do" lists and actually do them. (I am the most guilty of not doing this)

12. Accomplish something that you love daily. Even if it is miniscule.

13. Be happy alone and you will be beyond happy in a romantic relationship.

14. Own at least one "grown up" outfit. They come in handy when you least expect it.

15. Don't be afraid to apply for jobs you may not qualify for.

16. When you interview, ask for what you believe you are worth plus more. Not what you think they want to hear.

17. Be kind to people, it comes back at you ten fold.

18. Do not allow anyone to walk all over you.

19. Know your worth.

20. Trust people, but only when they give you a reason too.

21. Give people a reason to trust you.

22. Wear season appropriate clothing. Practicality is really sexy.

23. Sunscreen spf 100 exists for a reason.

24. Be educated.

25. Remember a degree or Phd is not the only kind of education.

26. Let other people teach you things, especially about life.

27. Try to learn from your mistakes the first time you make them. If you make them again, just keep learning.

28. Mistakes made are not bad.

29. Breaking down is not a sign of weakness.

30. Drink tea.

31. Drink wine, whiskey, beer or gin.

32. Or don't drink wine, whiskey, beer or gin.

33. If you wanna wear sweats, do it.

34. Show emotion and vulnerability with your friends.

35. Exercise is important. Beautiful souls need a strong support system.

36. Hope for love and contentment.

37. Strive for contentment within yourself.

38. Listen to music.

39. Enjoy silence.

40. Sex is important. No matter how you swing it.

41. Your body is your body. Do not ever do anything that you feel uncomfortable doing.

42. Be with someone who you are able to laugh with between the sheets. It makes it all that much better.

43. Be gracious, be humble and have good intentions.

44. Be strong in your beliefs, whatever they may be.

45. Don't let someone else belittle your belief.

46. Opinions can be interesting, but there are countless ones.

47. Learning is super fun. You just have to find what it is you are interested in learning about.

48. Do not underestimate the size of our planet.

49. Travelling is fun, no matter where you go.

50. Take pictures. They spark the memories that drive the stories.

51. Tell lots of stories.

52. Get excited about things.

53. Live with a room mate, even if it is for a little while. It teaches you a lot about yourself and other people. If you are lucky said room mate will become one of the closest friends you have ever had! (This happened to me, so I promise it isn't a myth.)

54. Expensive gifts are never better then thoughtful ones.

55. Do little things for people. As insignificant as they may seem.

56. Stand up for what you believe in.

57. Dinner tastes better when you cook it yourself, or with friends.

58. Watch TV, but not to much.

59. Don't wash your hair everyday.

60. Wash your hands more time then you can count in a day.

61. Get up in the morning with lots of time. Starting your day rushing is no way to live your life.

62. Tell those you love that you love them, often.

63. Call your parents!

64. Don't teach your parents how to text, or send picture messages for as long as possible. (If this does happen, prepare yourself for countless cat gif's.)

65. Stay up late sometimes.

66. Play board games.

67. Keep your level of competitiveness to a minimum... if possible.

68. Remember how to do simple math in your head.

69. If live plants are not your thing, don't even try! (The plastic ones that I have are flourishing.)

70. Don't expect to leave Ikea empty handed, ever.

71. Shop at the Farmer's Market.

72. Make eating dinner out special.

73. Keep a box of memories. Look through it often.

74. Don't be judgemental.

75. Have tons of pillows on your bed. When you think you have enough, throw a couple more on there.

76. Triple check that you have your keys before you lock the door.

77. Get a pet. They are kind of great!

78. Do not apologize for the amount that you love your pet.

79. Help your friends, whenever possible.

80. Help anyone, whenever possible.

81. When you have to pee... pee. Don't hold it.

82. Try to be early for things.

83. Shaving your legs is the worst thing you have to do... but it is kind of worth it when you climb into bed and it is all smooth.

84. Keep your toenails painted, it is a cute surprise when you take your socks off.

85. Salad is not your only option when you go on a date.

86. A little bit of sarcasm goes a long way.

87. Confidence is real sexy.

88. Men with beards.

89. Always have a little snack in your purse. There has been to many times that I am stuck somewhere and really hungry.

90. Never expect to finish a tube of lip chap. Just try to keep them all over your house.

91. Keep lotion all over the place too.

92. Candles are great.

93. Sometimes your house smells a little weird. This is when candles some in handy.

94. Put hot sauce on all the things.

95. No one is the wrong body type to wear shorts, or a bikini for that matter.

96. Dresses are the easiest outfit to put together.

97. Eat cereal with a large spoon. Just try!

98. Sometimes you have to cry.

99. Pizza. All the kinds of pizza.

100. No one has the ability to tell you if you are living your life wrong. Make your own choices, believe in yourself, stand tall, stay true, and hold your head up higher then you believe you can.

I think that is enough for the time being. Please share if you think there is anything else that should be added!

Be well!