Instead I really want to talk about how beautiful life can be, I want to talk about how you can reclaim who you are even when you think you've hit your lowest low, I want to talk about the ability to find happiness is some of the most simple things.
I want to talk about how waking up is an absolute gift, how I can open my eyes and know that there is no struggle that is too big for me to overcome. I have the strength to overcome so much more then I could ever imagine.
I want to talk about how I have figured out that laughing is the best medicine. Well, laughing and coffee dates, movie nights, best friends, lovers, cats, rainy days, morning fog and so many more things I can't explain.
Sadly, it is hard for me to talk about how amazing life is without remembering... Even just a little bit how I managed to take it all for granted.
Luckily I have a choice, I have a choice to look back at what I have done and feel shame, or I can look back and feel empowered. I am choosing to feel empowered today, I am choosing to take the opportunity to share my story and not shed any negative light on it at all but instead show others how the power within yourself can move mountains.
By choosing to be strong, and live my life in a way that does not allow a disease to take over I have been given the opportunity to speak and inspire and strengthen others. So here it goes..
I spent a year of my life disrespecting my body, treating it like it didn't matter and trying to change something that was already perfect! I realize I was not the "poster girl" for an eating disorder (but from what I have learned, there really isn't/shouldn't be a type), a lot of people did not believe that I was sick and they made assumptions that I was fine. If you are not sickly thin, people tend to believe there is nothing wrong... and I was in the same mindset for a really long time!
It took months and months for me to realize, and for me to listen to those close to me that I needed to stop doing what I was doing. I needed to focus on nourishing and celebrating my body. I heard from countless people that what I was doing was harming not only my physical being, but also my relationship and my emotional state - along with everything else in my life! I lived in denial, and that denial caused me to lose more weight in a short period of time than was healthy and while I was thrilled with my new body I was "creating" I still couldn't really look at myself.
I don't want to live in the past anymore... so let's just say I conquered it! I don't know when that moment happened, and I don't know what it was that made me realize how harmful I was being to myself but it doesn't really matter anymore!
Moral of the story is:
ED's are complicated, debilitating, destroying, harmful, confusing and downright sucky - but only if you let them! If you or someone you know is struggling with them make sure you remain patient and supportive. It is a force within them (aided by loved ones) that will allow them to move forward and celebrate life again. Seek help, and don't ever give up!
Eating Disorders are not a dirty subject. The dirty subject is the perception that we have of people battling this disease. I lost a lot in my life - because I let it. I realize this now, but I also realize the things I lost may have not been worth it, because I gained a whole hell of a lot more - and I continue to gain everyday of my life. I celebrate myself (most days) instead of focusing on the negative, I look at myself in the mirror... I mean really LOOK. I surround myself with beautiful people, beautiful things, beautiful ideas and pretty good sense of contentment. I don't look for happiness in the things I have or want, but I find happiness in the blessings that I have.
I think I might stop here... before the tears begin!
Be Well!
By choosing to be strong, and live my life in a way that does not allow a disease to take over I have been given the opportunity to speak and inspire and strengthen others. So here it goes..
I spent a year of my life disrespecting my body, treating it like it didn't matter and trying to change something that was already perfect! I realize I was not the "poster girl" for an eating disorder (but from what I have learned, there really isn't/shouldn't be a type), a lot of people did not believe that I was sick and they made assumptions that I was fine. If you are not sickly thin, people tend to believe there is nothing wrong... and I was in the same mindset for a really long time!
It took months and months for me to realize, and for me to listen to those close to me that I needed to stop doing what I was doing. I needed to focus on nourishing and celebrating my body. I heard from countless people that what I was doing was harming not only my physical being, but also my relationship and my emotional state - along with everything else in my life! I lived in denial, and that denial caused me to lose more weight in a short period of time than was healthy and while I was thrilled with my new body I was "creating" I still couldn't really look at myself.
I don't want to live in the past anymore... so let's just say I conquered it! I don't know when that moment happened, and I don't know what it was that made me realize how harmful I was being to myself but it doesn't really matter anymore!
Moral of the story is:
ED's are complicated, debilitating, destroying, harmful, confusing and downright sucky - but only if you let them! If you or someone you know is struggling with them make sure you remain patient and supportive. It is a force within them (aided by loved ones) that will allow them to move forward and celebrate life again. Seek help, and don't ever give up!
Eating Disorders are not a dirty subject. The dirty subject is the perception that we have of people battling this disease. I lost a lot in my life - because I let it. I realize this now, but I also realize the things I lost may have not been worth it, because I gained a whole hell of a lot more - and I continue to gain everyday of my life. I celebrate myself (most days) instead of focusing on the negative, I look at myself in the mirror... I mean really LOOK. I surround myself with beautiful people, beautiful things, beautiful ideas and pretty good sense of contentment. I don't look for happiness in the things I have or want, but I find happiness in the blessings that I have.
I think I might stop here... before the tears begin!
Be Well!
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