Sharing my story.

It occurred to me that for the last few weeks my contribution to the social networking world has been an array of tasty and vegan treats! My twitter, blog and instagram have been especially full of vegan things. This having happened I thought to myself, do people really know why this is happening? Do they wonder what events occurred in my life that would sway me to make the decisions that I have made in my life.

If you did ask yourself those questions (or even if you didn't) you're in luck, because I plan on answering them!

A little back story of me, just to start things off.

I grew up in a small town in Bristish Columbia, Terrace. I loved it because I privileged enough to go to a great school, have a small group of friends, and an amazing community to grow up in. I lived on a culdy-sac (I didn't ever figure out how to spell that) that was exactly as you would see in movies. The neighbors were great, some with kids our age and then a couple older couples that used to invite us in for treats and let us play in their backyard when ours (which was huge) got boring.

When I was in grade 6, we were quickly pulled from our small private school, and moved to Edmonton where we started at a public school. Huge culture shock, and to this day it blows my mind to think about what I could have been had we stayed in Terrace (the outcome not so good). I believe when we moved to Edmonton is when my problems began to accumulate, mostly because I was an unhappy girl being ripped from everything I considered great in my life.

I didn't make friends for grade 6 all the way up until grade 9, I was the quiet chubby girl with the very outspoken and obnoxious (sorry twin) brother. I was bullied throughout junior high, and in high school I mostly kept to myself because I was terrified of what someone would say to me.

Throughout the first couple of years in Edmonton, I developed body problems (just like everyone my age), but no matter what I seemed to do it just wouldn't get better. I developed a terrible relationship with food, which only got worse and worse as I got older. I knew I had to eat (though I toyed with the idea of stopping countless times) but I just didn't want to. For some reason this translated to me eating a lot, and the choices I made were not healthy ones by any means. This continued until high school. In grade 10 I switched to a school that very few people from my junior high went to in order to escape the torment and constant anguish that I felt everyday at school. I wanted to start fresh, and better myself... I just didn't know how. Grade 10 I decided to be a vegetarian which I wasn't really committed to, but it seemed like my best option, however I turned into a junk food vegetarian. It was easy to eat crappy meatless food then have vegetables or healthy grains. I gained more weight, and I just became unhappy and so I started eating meat again. Grade 11 I switched schools again, and began to form a small group of friends and I started to be more happy. Everything seemed to reflect this new confidence everyone thought that I found, which I really hadn't. I got really good at hiding these new strong feelings. I began to paint, draw, write and take photos, which seemed to appease a good chunk of sadness in me... for awhile. Close to the end of high school I became depressed, and despite my countless of efforts of staying away from my low it didn't work. I had to give in and admit that I needed help.

I graduated, and felt that the best thing for me to do was stay out of school for awhile and just work, so I had time to focus on myself. Things were going really great for awhile, I was able to maintain my weight and not gain anymore but I was still not a healthy person by anyway means. I spent a lot of time blaming work for not giving me enough time to get a healthy meal so I had to get quick/fast foods (which were not the healthy ones, let me tell you! I worked for a couple years (hitting the gym every once in awhile) but there was something missing. I thought it was school at first, and so I applied at the New York Institute of Photography and completed a photography degree (which I am hella proud of), but there was still something that I was missing. I had moved in with two amazing girls, and switched jobs which was so fun. All the cards were falling into place (for the most part). I knew that my health was a huge road block for me, and if I was going to accomplish all the things I wanted to, I really needed to focus on being healthy and being happy. I made the decision about 2 1/2 years ago to give vegetarianism a shot again but this time do it right. I met someone at work around the same time, and he was more than supportive in my conquests of good health (and still is supportive to this day). I joined a competition at work called The Biggest Loser, a clear spoof on the TV show, and being the competitive person I am was determined to win. Around the time this competition began I also began to get very sick, and for months we could not figure out what it was. Finally I was tested for infections and it was discovered that I had a severe UTI which was spreading up to my kidneys etc. I spent the next month on antibiotics, some that were so strong I couldn't eat which is where a whole new set of problems began. I began to convince myself that it wasn't a drug reaction that was making me nauseous but the food itself, and so I stopped eating almost completely. I ate the bear minimum to keep me from passing out on a daily basis, and then I would work out... a lot. I didn't drink much water because urinating became terrifying to me (sorry for the visual). These problems went on for almost a year, and in that time I dropped 70lbs, no joke. People wouldn't recognize me anymore, but I wasn't feeling well enough to be excited about my results. I was to pre-occupied with trying to figure out what was going in, psychologically and physically. After months of being on antibiotics there was no longer any sign of infection, but some problems would not disappear. For whatever reason, I was not able to digest water properly, my body would stockpile for days at a time, and then in a matter of hours would try to get it out of my system. Not a fun thing at all! During that whole time I hit a rough spot in life again, depression seemed to hit me the hardest and although I would try to hide it, people began to notice. It would effect my entire life. It was very strongly suggested to me by friends that it was time I see a doctor, a specialist. So I did. The results were not something that I was ready for. They said it seemed as though I had an eating disorder and this was my bodies reaction, they had not medical proof, nor did they do to many tests to figure it out, but they were doctors so I had to trust them! I had to force myself to start eating again, or it would get to the point where I wouldn't be able to function.

Slowly but surely I began to eat again, it wasn't pleasant for me but I knew that I wanted to get better, and this is what I had to do. Overall, I began to feel much better, but I was still having bladder issues. I ventured back to the doctors again, but this time in a better frame of mind to fight for tests. I needed to know what the issue was. After countless tests, and many sleepless nights on my part they finally figured it out. The estrogen in my system is much higher then normal and certain times in my cycle, the huge jump in hormones was what was causing my body to act in these weird ways. I did my research and found out I was not alone in problems similar to this, and I realized that my vegetarian diet (at the time) was not helping matters at all!

Now, I am not bashing being a vegetarian at all. I think it is one of the healthiest decisions that a person can make. My issue was soy! Something so small, and something that didn't even occur to me! Soy is a genetically modified product and contains a large amount of hormones. I consumed a lot of soy, and I mean a lot. So I had to quit, and after a month or so once the hormones worked their way out of my system I began to feel better then I had in a long time! I was able to keep all the weight I lost off, while losing even more. I still have problems (at certain times of the month) and I have to be very careful of the amount of soy I eat (to be honest I try to avoid it completely, and actually have gotten really good at finding soy alternatives) but I am feeling great!

So here comes the answers now...

Yes, I stayed a vegetarian. Even when I was at my sickest - I felt that it was the only thing keeping me from being completely destroyed.

Yes, I am now a vegan. Very recently I made the decision to go vegan - a big thank you to some people for all your advice, help, and answering my random text message questions!

Yes, I do believe it is the best decision that I have made in a long time.

Yes, it was one the hardest things to tell my family (they are all meat-eaters). My twin brother was one of the scariest people to tell, since him and I haven't always seen eye-to-eye.

No, I will never eat meat again, rarely do I crave it either.

I decided to go vegan mostly for health reasons. I do have my ethical reasons as well, but my main concern is my  health. I am not a fan of chemicals, drugs, hormones, toxins etc. being pumped into my body without my knowledge, even with my knowledge I do not like it.

I know that this will not be the easiest thing I have done but I am determined to do it, and do it right. In the past year I have become a health nut! I work out, I cook delicious food. I have stopped drinking (as much), eating junk food, drinking a lot of pop and I have just begun to make healthy choices over all. I feel good, I'm happier, and excited to share my journey with everyone.

I'm sorry (not really) that you have had to put up with all the food posts, but I am just so excited about what I am cooking and doing that I have to share it with the world! I am proud to say that I finally have a healthy relationship with food, and no longer crave junk because the healthy stuff I am eating is just so dang delicious!

At a later date I will share with you all of the information that I read about being a vegan, this is more or less an about me post!

I would like to say a huge thank you to everyone in my life who stayed by my side through all of this! I have such a strong support system around me, it is absolutely fabulous! Shancy - for dealing with my mood swings, the nights I just wanted to cry and the times where you just had no idea what to cook for me but being open to try! Sidenote: he still doesn't know what to cook for me, but he's learning! My room mates (Sarah and Wanda) - for forcing me to eat some nights, and on those nights I just couldn't they would lay off. They were there for me even when I was a cranky b**ch and would cater to my veggie needs some nights when they made dinner. My family - it may have taken them awhile to warm up to the idea of vegetarianism and more recently veganism, but they are finally being more open and understanding to my choices. I really appreciate that. Victoria - for fielding most (if not all) of my hypothetical what if nurse type questions. I don't doubt it got annoying for her! Amanda - for being one of my only vegetarian friends! You introduced me to some delicious veggie restaurants. Jakigh - one of my newest friends for helping me make my final decision, and giving me the tools I need to do it properly! She is an inspiration, seriously guys... follow her (on everything!) There are countless others to thank of course, but this is all I can think of for now. For the names I didn't drop, my most sincere thank-yous! This is not the kind of thing you can do alone.

Just an FYI to my beloved cynics, I am getting more than enough protein, iron, and vitamins. Vegetables are a much better source of nutrition than meat, my B12 is also great! Thanks for asking :).

Until next time, be well!
(I'm so sorry, this is an epistle.)