I am not declaring a moratorium on men by any means, I am simply celebrating all the wonderful things about being single for those of us who are (at the moment and for as long as we consciously choose to, without backlash from the societal standards - yep - held over our heads) and to maybe even make those in relationships a bit jealous... am I right, eh!?
Although this may be directed primarily towards women, I believe that it is pretty easy to move a couple words and thoughts around to fit a man. So men, relate all you need!
1. Guilt free flirtation. Now realistically... I flirt all day everyday, I have found that it makes my job a little bit more interesting and it makes the time pass. Plus tips (a girl needs the extra cash sometimes). You can giggle and flip your hair until you pull a muscle if that is what you choose to do, and there will be no feeling of guilt or that looming potential of "going to far"... and no boys will feel the need to spread their peacock feathers or establish dominance, because apparently that never goes out of style for anything with testosterone.
2. The bed is yours, all yours! If you want to fill it up with 1500 pillows... do it! If you want to lay starfish right in the middle of your bed the entire night... do it! If you want to burrito yourself up in all of the covers... do it! If you have to get up in the middle of the night to pee... do it! We no longer have to worry about disturbing that special boy who was sharing the bed with you!
*Disclaimer... if you have a cat like mine, you will NEVER GET THE BED TO YOURSELF AGAIN. I think it is important to point out that he is currently laying smack dab in the middle of the bed with his head on a misplaced pillow while I ball up in the corner of the bed typing away. I mean, who does he think he is...
3. You don't have to think about wether or not your boyfriend will like the outfit you are wearing. So, I have these leggings... well 2 pairs of leggings, and I love them! I mean LOVE THEM. They are a level of tacky and gorgeous that I have a hard time explaining well. One of them is a floral print, and the other is a faux leather. They are majestic, and I am majestic in them. However, the last 2 males that I was involved with hated them, and I resented them a little bit for them! Ladies, men know almost nothing about women's fashion so wear whatever you want! Eccentricities are then best. Man, I think I might go put those floral babies on right now. Rock it all day, everyday.
4. Red lipstick? Wear it all the days, because no man is going to try and inhale your face at any point.
5. All of the delicious food in your cupboard and fridge that you bought in a hunger filled PMS driven trip to the supermarket is all yours! You won't come home to find an empty bag of gingerbread oreos, those babies will be there to coddle you until YOU have eaten them all.
6. Grooming doesn't exist... you can also look like complete garbage when you are at home by yourself, because you know that your room mate has already seen you at the absolute worst you could be at because you locked yourself in the bathroom accidentally when you were dying your hair and you needed her help to mix the second bottle of dye. Don't forget you chose that time to not wear pants... (true story). In realty, when you are at home you can basically do/look like whatever you want. You have no one else to impress, nobody who you have to consider when choosing a movie (unless it is movie night with the roomie, that is entirely different), nobody that you have to double check with when cooking dinner, nobody to worry about bothering if you want to stay up late and watch questionable television in your bed.
7. You no longer have to question where half of your stuff went, because it is no longer at your boyfriends house! Wear whatever you want whenever you want since there is no chance your wardrobe is spread across the city. Bonus, you don't have to carry around half of your life in your purse - just in case you spend the night at the boys house!
8. First kisses... first everything, really! As awkward and weird as dating is (and whoever says anything other then that is lying... mostly to themselves), there are still those super fun 'first times'. It gives you that funny feeling. And unless you are a socially awkward, slightly racist, super sarcastic, introverted, but a truly well meaning human (much like myself) - getting to know someone is super fun! I suppose I would have to admit that it can be fun, even for those who are inept at life.
9. There is no tiny little imaginary pedestal that you have to balance on everyday all day. I don't know if this rings true for a lot of people, or any people really. I always feel like I need to attain a girlfriend-esq demeanour when I am in a relationship. Not even out of obligation, but because I want too. I like to be someone that my partner is proud of, and I try my darndest not to do those small little things that I know said parter does not really appreciate. Maybe once I find someone who is ideally suited to me this won't be an issue anymore, but dang it gets exhausting trying to make sure that you continue to be the person your loved one fell in love with. Anyway, when you are single you can be whoever you want to be. If you want to be cranky as heck one day, you can be. If you want to be in a silly mood which ends you giggling as the most inane things, you can be. If you want to sit on your bed and listen to Chris Daughtry sing about a woman who is waiting for her Superman while you cry, you can! These are all characteristics that make us human, and what makes us human makes us beautiful. FRIG! I think I just had a breakthrough, any man who wants me gets all of me... all the time! I think I just threw away my pedestal; I will stand on my own two feet - as shaky as they may be!
10. Okay, so this is one of my favourites. Also another one that is a little bit more serious then the rest. As a single person, you are able to spend all of your time learning who you are. You are able to focus on all of the little (and big) things that might have been neglected because you got yourself wrapped up in a relationship that would inevitably fail. This one hits me real good and hard every time I think about it, because I know how that I allowed myself to get way to distracted by one of my partners and I lost myself. The seriousness of the situation was so much that I wasn't sure if I would ever be able to find myself again. GUESS WHAT THOUGH, GUYS! I totally did. I spent almost a year searching for all those things that make me happy, just me... no one else! When you don't have to focus all of your energy (or a lot of it) on another person it frees up a lot of time for you to 'do you' - that phrase still makes me chuckle. I feel like I am finally able to say with confidence that I know who I am, I know what I want to do, and I kind of sort of know how I am going to get there. I now have a much better understanding of who I am, and what I am about because I took the time to get to know myself rather then get to know someone else or turn myself into something I didn't really want to be. A funny thing happens when you take time for yourself too... everything else around you seems to be a little bit easier! My job is no longer quite as emotionally exhausting, some of my other personal relationships with people have fallen into place, mundane life chores and errands really do not seem so bad anymore. It is just funny how all those things seems to work themselves out.
This list could go on forever, I can guarantee that but I think that is truly because I have made such a decision to be so happy with my life no matter what is happening! I am not perfect, I will have bad days and that is okay! But I mean... I made my life what it is, so I am going to enjoy all of the minutes of it!
I hope you were able to share some laughs with me, and for those who are in a position to relate - I hope that you did! For those who are not single, I hope you were able to take something from this, whatever that may be!
Till next time, be well! I am off to go flirt with some boys.
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